The Ultimate Question: To Cook or Not to Cook

Like every @KhaleejiGirl, there comes a point where in one way or another she fantasizes about her future and the kind of life she’d live. She thinks about the kind of job she will be the best at, and the kind of husband that will be by her side in perfect harmony. But then, once she gets to the point in which it actually is the right time for all of these fantasies to come true, her dreams may not match her reality. She may end up being a bum through no fault of her own but given the economic situation we have been living in, the job market isn’t as welcoming to new candidates as it once was despite all of a @KhaleejiGirl’s qualifications or merits.

This new chapter in her life made her go through many experiences that she never thought she’d go through. One of them was which included putting dinner on the table by 7pm every night of the week. Sure, a few nights include going out to nice restaurants and getting take out from KFC, but ultimately the weight of a man’s heart is by cooking and that’s just something that KFC can’t do. So on I went, a journey that started by going through an old Italian cookbook eventually evolved into throwing dinner parties for 20 people 10 of which were my husband’s family members.

But like I always say, you make plans and life has other plans. The role of a @KhaleejiGirl can change overnight from being the sexy girlfriend into being my husband showing how a woman’s role in the house devolves into what a @KhaleejiGirl didn’t expect it to be. Many women lose themselves in this trick from the oldest playbook out there. Pre-determined roles kill marriages but more importantly, they can kill an individual’s spirit and cooking is usually the culprit behind it.

When I was no older than maybe 13, I vowed I’d never want to learn how to cook. Why? Not because I don’t love food (of course I do!) but it was because I used to fear the future and the type of husband I’d end up marrying. Let me explain- I did not want to know all of the recipes to traditional cuisines of my Middle Eastern culture like Biryani to have ready on standby to cook whenever my husband demanded me to whip something up. It’s a fear stemmed from the western belief of “Bi*** make me a sandwich.”

Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman cooking. However, at such a young age, my realization of fearing my future Middle Eastern husband, I made my options more specific as to what my likes and dislikes were.

Note how I used the term I discovered what I like. Ergo, I wouldn’t be doing this for anyone but myself. There would not be anyone’s wishes who would come true if that person was not me.

It allowed me to invest more in myself in a way that I don’t see many women doing these days. Perhaps because of social responsibilities or being influenced by others around her, many women seem to lock themselves into an already defined and archaic definition of what they are supposed to be.

This way I was able to pave more time in discovering what I was interested in and that has made all the difference.